Looks like we made it....

Holy Moly - enough with the song titles right? Seventeen weeks over and done with and my husband is back home safe and sound. I can still not tell you where he was, what he was doing etc.... mostly because I do not know myself and partly because I need to keep it to myself.
Anyways, as you can guess my husband is home !!!!! I am estatic to say the least. I am proud of myself for so many things, and right now it is mainly because I survived.
Tonight we went out in public to dinner.... B was an absolute angel... HUH? It just gors to show that during the time his father was gone, he did listen and absorb what I was telling him and was able to act like a pure gentleman.... whatever, it worked. even if I had to become a casualty in his war with puberty. In the grand scheme of things, I have added value to this boys life and someday he will truly appreciate everything I have done for him.

Sadistic Narcicist

So who knows if that is spelld right, but right no I don't give a crap. This kid is purely twisted. Unless you are yelling at him, he doesn't feel loved. I just spent twenty minutes vocalizing at this inconsiderate shit. He began earlier in the night by disrespecting me and then when I was trying to get him to own up to his grevious mistake, he started questioning his fathers love for him. I left the atmosphere. Everything that my husband has done in his life has been spurred on by his love and devotion to his son. Where the f*&% does this kid get off playing the " My daddy didn't love me enough " shit? I am so PI$$ed off right now I can barely contain myself. The one thing no one can ever call into question is his devotion and love of that boy.
So anyway B decides tonight would be a good night to remind me of my fatness... what the f&%^ ever. May the gods of baldness visit him late in his teen years and then develop his own Thyroid problem and just for good measure throw in impotence. Maybe then he'll think back to this time and realize that he is being punished for being so sassy.

I need to go, he is creeping down the stairs now....

This Page Intentionally Left Blank

I always laugh when I find this written in the middle of paperwork or books.

However today is a day where I FEEL like this statement.

Pretty Ironic huh?

The Sheriff of Shafersville

There is a new sheriff in town..... ME.
I am tired of the constant fights and whining and attention seeking behavior.
My law is absolute and I have the shiny badge to prove I mean business.
From this point forward, you act up... to your room you go. I am the adult and I needn't have to set my schedue around you... you wanted to live here, these are the rules. There is no turning back and this house is not a democracy.
What I says, goes.......( Did I just sound like Yosemite Sam?? GOOD!!)
You needs to give me space or Ima gonna talk like this in real life, ya hear me?
Not everything is about you.
Stop the bossy behavior.
stop checking up on my school work progress, I have a 4.0 GPA.... worry about YOUR school work.... Mr. I strive for C's
Give me space to breathe
Not everything needs to be shrouded in drama.... I pomise, drama free is much more relaxing.
There are NO MONSTERS living in our house.. maybe a ghost passes through every once in a while, but no mosters.. ( ie the garage door demon)
I do not report to you, but you do report to me
Are you seeing the pattern yet?
I am the adult..period.
I make the rule
I enforce the rules
and when broken I enforce punishment
The more you whine, the more I dig in and say NO

I am the Sheriff here in Shafersville and these are the laws as I proclaim them..
My pokey is the backyard.. so keep it up boy... its chilly out dere.....

Blog for your life !!!!!

Just another random thought to top off my day...

I blog, therefore others can read and enjoy my misery... But its funny isn't it?
This blog is something I look forward to doing because there are so many things that run through my mind on a daily basis, it would be a shame to waste them inside my own head.
Thoughts like this are best when exposed to the world.......

I think this outlet is one way to save my sanity, which daily ebbs and flows like the tide....

Tune in tomorrow for another installment on Sanity on the Loose.....

Don't make me shake you

Remember the british nanny suspected of shaking a baby to death?
I Do
And this eveing when I picked B up from the Boys and Girls club, I was met by a Mr. Sarcastic Sassypants. I wanted to pick hi up right there and shake him. We had to drive home and have the conversation, "I didn't take you there so you could revert to a bratty child" Is nothing sacred anymore? I tell you I got home and Mr Bossy had to be told to go sit on the bench at the front porch, while I comtemplated jumping back in my car and driving off.... ok not really, but I did need a few moments to do some deep breathing while telling myself 'I can fix this, its only a minor set back' ( Its ok, my counselor gave me permission to talk to myself under these circumstances)
Calm and collected I walked to the front door and the next sassy comment elicited a "You keep this up you're not going back." Neener Neener--- Juvenile Probably but it felt oh so good !!!! Here the lesson is, I have the car keys and the gas.... what are you gonna do about it?

Time to be FREE

After yesterday's episodes I was emphatic that things have got to give. I can not be the 24 hour provider for a teenager without having a little me time. I have now had it beaten into my head thaat having some time for myself is not selfish, but necessary to preserve my sanity. ( Have I mentioned my husband has been gone for several months and it is unknown when he will be returning?) The first thing today after I spent some time with B, I took him and enrolled him in the Boys and Girls club on base. They are open only a few hours a day and only a few days a week, but now I have somewhere to take him after school and Saturday evenings to give me a break. I took this oppourtunity to Go to my friend C's house and another new friend of mine K was there too. We ordered Chinese food and I was able to talk and vent and enjoy time with adult women without being interupted. It was AWESOME !!! I was free and it was great. I had almost forgotten how to have a conversation without losing track of what I was saying....

where was I? HAHA just kidding

Now I just have to 'remember' to go get him.......

Horrible, Terrible, Very Bad, No Good Day

Does anyone remember a childrens book by a similar title. Loved it.
And then I Lived it.
Today was one of THOSE days.
Everything has either upset me, angered me or frustrated me.
Some issues today even illicited those three responses all at the same time ( which needless to say is not an attractive look, although if you tried it now in the mirror it would make you laugh)
I feel like everywhere I turn, there is an invisisble wall with a yellow X, hit head here, symbol.
I grew up in the time when you could ride your bike, skateboard or whatever with no helmet, because we were built tough....
Although now that I am a bit older, hitting your head repetitively like that will lead to a concussion at the least if nothing else.
Did this post make sense to you? Good.. it was meant to be intentionally vague. Those of you that saw me today know some if not all the things that sent me a flame.
I am off to sleep in hopes that tonights 'sleep' will in fact be restful so that I don't start tomorrow in a similar fashion to today....( Insert serenity prayer here)

hokked on fonix werked fer mee

So here I am glancing back over previous posts and I see those irritating words that I have spelled wrong. I know that there is spell check on here, yet I can never get it to work... obviously.
I just wanted you to know that I know that there are some words here and there that are spelled incorrectly. I am not as dumb as my spelling sometimes pretends to be.

Cuz I am S-M-R-T

Car Repairs.... Nuff said

So last night I was back at the mechanic for the third time since Saturday. Needless to say more money out the door and the squeak is fixed again. I also have a noise in my steering column, but we aren't going there right now. Since May of 2007 I have gotten a new starter, 4 new tires, new front breaks and rotors, turned the drums on he back, a new alternator, a new idler pulley, a tensioner and an entire idler pulley assembly. The last thing I want to do is delve into the noisy steering wheel.... I'd rather think of it as hamster on a wheel helping me to navigate the corners.... A girl can dream right?

My Life as a Step parent Verse 1

So many of my friends and family already know the story, but here is the short and humorous version.... ( trust me there were times these were not so funny) Do not read if your eyes are tired.

My step son came to live with my husband and I August 31, 2007. He was havinng problems at home with his mom and depending on who you ask, there were different reasons that he was brought up here. He says because he wanted to live with his dad and his mom says because she could no longer deal with him... nice right, like saying here I screwed up, now you fix him.
We got him enrolled in the school prior to his arrival which was no small feat since the schools remain closed until almost the start of school and we were dealing with a records switch between two schools 2400 miles apart. He arrives with a couple of electronic gadgets his dad bought for him previously and the clothes on his back.
The next couple of days were a blur. We bought school clothes, haircut, immunizations brought up to date and a trip to the dentist which uncovered 4 cavities since who knows when he was last at the dentist ( When I asked B, he couldn't remember ever being....)
School starts and within a couple of weeks we are already having problems in the latchkey program. This is the before and after school program we enrolled him in so I could keep my job. We also experienced our first missing task slip where he was missing 87% of his homework in the first three weeks of school. We were not impressed, especially since the first punishment was handed down on our 2nd wedding anniversary while we were getting ready to go to dinner.
We then actually went a few weeks with no incidents, so you figure, hey things are gonna be okay..... And you are all sitting there thinking, get to the juicy stuff sister, this is all pretty tame...
And then you are totally blindsided......
My husband left for deployment. Now unlike most regular navy guys, he actually flew to meet the boat he was going on. I had my typical goodbye meltdown and went to work. By the time Hubby made it to port XX, I was having a near nervous breakdown. Why, you might ask?
Hubby was gone and three days later, I get a call from a deputy sheriff. They had been to school to have a conversation with B regarding a story that he told about me, where in said story I had pulled a gun on him and pointed it at his chest..... I could barely breathe and my mind was racing..., I kept thinking I am gooing to jail because B told a story.... I was told that they had come to the conclusion that I had not acted in said story because he likes to tell 'tall tales', but it had to be reported to CPS..... Now you are thinking Holy crap... I would've beaten him... trust me I wanted to , but that would have sent another call to CPS...haha
Fabulous, 30 years of walking the line and never even so much as a detention ane and now I have an official police file. CPS cleared me as well, giving me a letter or reprimand that I need to behave so they won't have to revisit this matter... What?! Me behave... I'm goin' on a crime spree now baby !!!
Anyways, while this is happening, hubby is 6000 miles away and pretty disturbed that this has happened in his absence, not that I can blame him. Anyways, the command became involved and I have to say, they were totally awesome. They offered hubby to come home,and as nice as that would have been, it would have started this all over again the next time he left, why cause international jet lag twice in once month over something that was over and done with. They also checked on me periodically after this to make sure I was okay and to provide numbers of resources to help me if/when other problems arised as they undoubtedly would.
Hubby goes under the water and there is no communication...... B wants to know why he can't call his dad.....What do they teach these kids in school these days
And we have another incident. This time he was in more trouble at latchkey. He was suspended from the program for 2 days and I had to take time off of work for this. While I was reprimanding him for the suspension, I called his mom, so I could have a break. Next thing I know we are 'schizophrenic' and being paranoid etc. I called My Father in law and asked him to talk to him. Still no calming down in sight. I did not sleep that night as I was afraid of what B was really up to. The next day a trip to the mental health facility for a psych evaluation. Turns out, he isn't really schizophrenic...... Go Figure
Hubby and I knew this problem with latchkey was coming eventually, but we thought we would make it more through deployment. Anyhow, next step for B was out the door from the program, so I gave my notice at work. I figured I needed to give notice while I could and not before I had to quit on the spot. My last day ironically was B's Birthday.
So for three weeks I sat around while B went to school. he can't be alone because of his over active imaginination and lack of responsibility.
I eventually was asked back to work on a part time basis,which gave me time for adult interaction and to feel like a functioning part of society. Anyways B goes home for two weeks at Christmas (Thank the Lord) and my mom comes out for one week. Groovy time with mom and some alone time to boot! Did I also Mention that during this time my hubby was in port YY and was able to call. The voice of reason and sanity.
God, I love that man. Even when I am tired and flat, he builds me back up and calls me his Warrior Queen. How about that ? He is submerged in close quarters with a bunch of guys who are funky, nasty and down on women and behave like children and my hubby is making everything right in my world. Have I mentioned how awesome my husband is? And he's smokin hot to boot.

B comes back and he is well behaved and I think wow, he needed that visit home.... wait for it...
he wakes up the next day like a computer that rebooted overnight.. Whoooooop here we go again.
Attitude flying, drama the whole nine. We have over time, dialed it back some, but none of this would be possible without the help of my counselor and B's counselor at the CAPS program through the Navy.
Everyday is still a struggle, but I am learning how to pick my battles and I have to say that I am winning. I am currently waiting for my hubby to come home. I got an urge for some snuggleing and he owes me after everything I have been through, haha. ( I am gonna get a foot massage too !) Did I mention I am currently in a 10 week parenting program? hey, I need all the skills I can get.... At the end there is even a certificate... the only thing I know of that makes you an actual certified parent......

by the way, I am now on the way to the gun range to use that gun.... for actual target practice...

Check back for more installents on How teenagers play with your lives......

That good ole groundhog

Now I know from the title it sounds like I am gonna tear into this poor fellow, but I assure you I am not.

This creature is pulled from his home early in the morning of February 2nd each year. He is paraded around as if he is a spectacle and while everyone watches under the cover of spotlights at half past dark in Pennsylvania, we wait for him to either see or not see his shadow.... Isn't this stacking the deck so that he inevitably will see his shadow and pronounce us another six weeks of cold and misery?
I mean really people, have you ever stood outside in the dark and turned floodlights on yourself and not seen your own shadow? I could do this for you instead of this poor animal, but I guarantee you, I would not be as nice about being woken up at the crack of dark.
Why should we unleash our wrath on this creture when the indecisive weather people deserve it much more?
Spring .... last time I knew Mother Nature and Father Time had the market cornered on when things happened ... it is called a natural progression.. which means it happens when it happens people.....
It has been this way forever and while I can appreciate the need to make groundhog puppets out of brown sandwich sacks and rubber cement ( do you remember those days) and keep with tradition, I also wish people would stop the eternal groaning afterward... six more weeks..... We'll be lucky if it is only six more weeks......

The Writers Strike

Get ready this one is loaded -

Writers - Get over yourselves
Execs - Give it up a little

GET BACK TO WORK !!!!!!!!!!!

That being said, I know that every side has a story and in this situation I would like to put out there the fact that this is a triangle. The people striking, the actors and us the regular Joe's.
I am tired of hearing the actors profess their love for the writers. They are talented in their own right, and if you don't wake up and realize you won't have a job after all is said and done because your FANS will all turn their backs on you, you will remember the third point in this saga.
We are tired of hearing people whine and complain like two year olds. I work hard, I am trying to finish a degree, I am a stepmother to a teernage boy and a military spouse. When the day winds down, I want to watch some mind numbing television to experience something other than my reality.... What am I rewarded with? Reruns....... ARGHHHHH

I hope these people realize that they have alienated us, the people who pay for cable to watch these programs and understand why we don't give a rats behind about their pleas for money... I want some real tv to watch PLEASE.........

Stop acting like juveniles and get back to work. If you need someone to write, direct and star in a comedy for television, I can help you. My life is guaranteed to knock the socks off of anybody that watches and I praactive my 'looks' in the mirror daily.

I am about to steal all of your jobs and keep all the money for myself !!

Don't you wish you were me?

SuperBowl Ads

I don't care who ya are, If your team isn't playing, the ads are the best part. Did you miss the talking stain? How about the Godfather Audi commerical? Check them all out after the game at www.myspace.com/superbowlads

Britney Spears

Okay, so I know that we are all tired of hearing about this girl, but I need to say this....

Leave her alone.. really people. She is seriously messed up and needs help. As someone who has herself struggled with mental issues, it is hard enough to deal with it within your own circle. This girl had a career, is famous and is a hot mess. She doesn't need further scrutinizing by people that have no idea what she is going through. She needs our prayers that they are able to help her get well adn that she will once again be able to function on her own. She is under a microscope because of her status as a famous person and really all the media and pappa whatever's are just adding fuel to the fire. They should be ashamed, and we as a society should be ashamed as well that this is what our entertainment value has become.

Really people, get off her crack and give her space. Mental illness should not be stigmatized the way it is, nor should we continue to fuel it. It is what it is and people with mental disorders need compassion and help, not flash photography to enduce an episode.

Teenagers...... why?

I don't remember being needy and on the list of those that my mother wanted to throttle ( she had my dad, her ex for that) I was responsible and smart and was able to stick to task without problem, granted I was a teenager awhile ago.

Fast forward to present day..... my stepson is extremely needy and is constantly needing guidance in daily life (i.e. did you do your chores, homework, etc ?) while I am inconstant need of patience and valium...haha If I don't remind him, then somehow in his adolecently chakllenged mind, its my fault he didn't accomplish something or that he can't get a handle on himself in public ( why exactly is it my fault?)

Right now I hate the phrase 'Hey, Vanessa, ________'( fill in the blank) which is said in excess of 60 times a day. I think I am going to change my name to Rumplestilskin. He is too young to know that story since today bed time stories are made of pokemon and Hannah Montana. ( Remember when it was the Muppet Show and Sha Na Na?? Wow did I just date myself..... Oohh Solid Gold too......)

Wow off topic just then, but you get my point. Back then television had an entertainment factor, not a 'suck the will to live out of you if your child subjects you to seeing.' I remember taking B to the movies a couple of years ago to see Spongebob ( insert shiver here) at the end I felt like I had lost 20 IQ points.... No wonder why our children struggle with everthing... This is the garbage they have been exposed to.

This is why my TV has a lock on it..... I am attempting to reclaim my stepson's brain and maybe grow him into a self sufficient man who stops saying 'Hey, Vanessa'

Oh the car repairs we endure

Today I went to have my brakes done.. Not pretty but it needed doing since I was gettng the famous pulsation....So I go to a place that has a coupon and I find out that the coupon doesn't cover caliper whatever.. fine
It turns out I need new front rotors, the ones I have were already turned down to minmum specs.... right
Then they tell me about the eternal squeal under my hood... we can fix it.. make me a deal.....Make me another...
I accept second deal knowing that this will be my entire next paycheck, but I brought the previously paid off credit card, so I think 'm good to go( Are your eyes tired yet... I've got more)after being there for 3 1/4 hours I hear.. we have good news and bad news... oh no you don't
The idler pulley ( said squeaker) was only part of the problem......of course it was
You have a shot bearing in your alternator and need a new one.....but we will give you a screaming deal.... that is only the half of what I am about to do( are you laughing yet?)
Order said parts and one more hour on Monday morning I shall be squeak free for another entire paycheck....there are tears rolling down my face... can you tell whether or not they are $900 worth of laughter or crying tears ????
Neither can I

About me

Who am I and why should you care ?

I am a 30 year old woman. I am married to the most fabulous man. He serves out wonderful country as a United States Submariner in the Navy. don't ask me what he does because unless I know you, its none of your business and me telling you could be punishable by death.. Haha
( It's up to you to determine if I am truly joking or not)
I am also the stepmother to a 13 year old teenage boy. Don't you wish you were me. His coming to live with us has been an adventure to say the least. I hade found strength that I did not know I had or was capable of. I have learned that all that practice of digging my heels in would come into play someday.

I am originally from Connecticut. Lord knowsI miss all the awesome food from New England. We currently live in the great Pacific Northwest, although honestly, I haven't understood what is great here. Between Novemeber and April it rains... A-L-L T-H-E T-I-M-E. It is grey and overcast and just depressing. Besides Starbucks on every corner out here, there are a slew of tanning establishments for thoseof us that need the sunlight, even if it is artificial. Now if you knew how fair skinned (ghostly) I am, you would know how silly the idea of me tanning is.

Anyways, as for why you should care who I am....

Simply put, I am awesome. I am funny, smart and more importantly I am honest and straight to the point. I have little to no patience for stupid people, those interested in drama, those that need excessive coddling and generally just ridiculous individuals.

Feel free to read, comment or lurk... I promise I am not saying anything here that I wouldn't say to anyone in person, but really who wants to listen to someone eternally on a soapbox.... its much more fun to read.

Welcome

Welcome to my random daily thoughts.
Some will be humorous, other controversial... but all come from... Inside my head.
Sit back, fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the wonderful wild ride known as me!