Statistics of Divorce

They say that 50% of first, 75 % of second and 87% of third marriages will end in divorce.

That is a staggering rate that anyone bothers to calculate statistics after one. When you ( the collectiev you) get married, the vows state for better or worse, sickness and in health, good times and bad til DEATH DO YOU PART. This means that just because things gobadly from time to time that you should hire an attorney and try to decimate your once beloved in a courtroom proceeding.

Now I am not saying that a spouse who has suffered at the hans of an abuser should be in a lifelong marriage to someone who beats on them, but the majority of marriages end because one person has lost faith, has lost their way on morality or is just plain tired. In these cases, there is counseling available, marriage retreats etc to help restore the health to the marriage so that the vows that were once taken can remain in tact and both parties can be reminded of the foundation that thir marriage was founded on.

Personally I am at the point in my life where my marriage may or may not work out. There has been a lot of water under the bridge, But I am fighting to hold onto the bridge and not let it be blown to hell. I love my husband and I have admitted to my faults. I am not perfect, far from it really, and I am trying to make amends on a daily basis. When I married my husband, I was under the assumption (and you know what they say about assming) that it was a forever union.
As of yet, I haven't given up hope, faith and Love and the greatest of these is LOVE.

The Religous State of America

As you might be able to tell, I have been to church again this evening and as always I walk away pondering the message that I have heard.

Tonight I was brought again the idea about how our society continues to push religion out of everything. We want it out of our schools, our government and our daily lives because frankly most people can't be bothered with it and the implications of what it means to be a believer in God and in Jesus Christ. During all this time that people (and not just in America, but I am focusing here since it is home), God was tired of falling on deaf ears. He stepped back and said I'm not one to be where I am not wanted. Then we take a look at the state of our economy, our families, the divorce rate, the educational system..... the list goes on and on.

And is it any wonder? We have chased God from every aspect of our lives and yet when things go wrong we curse him for not giving us our way. We need to remember that it is not about our way, but about HIS. We need to invite him back into our everyday lives and embrace Him.

He is not far however, because when His children accept him and desire Him to be near, He is there for them. We begin one person at a time, one family at a time. It truly does show that one person can make a difference in the lives of many. After all, look at the amazing life of Jesus Christ and how he died for all of us to forgive our sins...............

P.S. The Pledge of Allegiance does say "One Nation Under GOD,...."

Priority or Option

I saw a bumper sticker on facebook that said "Don't make someone a priority when they make you an option". I thought it was referring to love relationships, but now after much reflecting I know it can refer to any relationship.

I have realized that my entire life can be summed up by saying that I am only an option to everyone that I have ever known. I am viewed as a strong woman who can take care of herself, therefore I never need to be anything but an option.

Why, just because I am strong, do I not qualify to be someone's priority?

Being Cranky, so sharing my rants.....

I am sufficiently cranky. It is almost Christmas and I am alone. I miss my husband so much that my insides actually hurt. I have proposed some options to my husband about our future and now I wait in hopes that he can see that we can have a future together and that very marriage has rough patches that need to be worked through. I believe that we can grow from this experience and become stronger together.

Now since I am cranky, I wanted to share a few other thoughts that have made me pretty crazy:

A good Samaritan stops to help a woman out of her car after an accident because he feared the car would catch fire before paramedics arrived. The driver is now a paraplegic because of the accident and blames the good Samaritan for the disability. A court actually cleared this for trial so that the paralyzed woman can sue the good Samaritan for taking her out of the car because this action MAY have caused the paralysis and did save her life from the car that was hanging off a ledge.

WTF people..... what the hell has the world come to that we find it okay to punish those that stop to help others because they actually care about the welfare and safety of another human being. This is why I really dislike people. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. This is also what is wrong with out society today. We find whatever reason to sue another person when they though they were trying to help and we end up taking them to court to run our own agenda and bend them over and shove it up their rear. This is the slippery slope that we find ourselves on when confronted with a moral dilemma to help someone or stay quiet while someone is victimized. We voluntarily step into another person's life in an attempt to help, we become the scapegoat for altering the future they were riding along on the coattails of....

Where does this stop?

Onto the next:

Illinois - really people were you really this blind to see what your governor was doing with his power? At least you can join the recent list of state governors whose time in office was marred by their incompetence and the inability to do right for their constituenta and they did for themselves. Whether you are a gay governor harassing staff or a governor who pays for call girls while he claims to be cleaning up the streets or the governor who actions off job positions and lobbies for better kick backs, we can definitely find a reason to laugh while our economy falls into the toilet.

OPEC nations are bullies and terrorists-

Why do I say this? This week on the news we saw that the OPEC nations met and they announced that they are cutting production of oil because barrels of oil have become priced too low for them to be able to balance their budget. What does this mean for us? Gas prices are about to begin that climb upwards. It was fun while it lasted.....

Western Washington and the lack of snow equipment -

Dumbasses - here's a news flash: global warming does not mean that everywhere gets warm. This is my fourth December here in Western Washington. The first year there was a dusting of snow. The second year, there was snow, ice and wind that caused the loss of power. Last year more snow and slippery conditions and the grand finale - this year we are having the worst snow storm since 1996. Now that may not seem like a big thing especially for a girl raised in New England with the great Nor'easter but there is a huge difference between New England and here. There hey have SNOW PLOWS AND SANDERS AND DE-ICERS! You dumb m - f'-ers the last three years have gotten worse incrementally and you stupid a-holes would rather spend money on what??? than provide safe roads for people to function. I have not been to work since Wednesday because the roads are snow on top of ice on top of snow on top of ice.

I feel like I have traveled back in time by living out here. I am on my way to becoming a back woods hick as we speak - that means I will use a shotgun on my car's wheels to loosen lug nuts and become a drunk and disorderly while throwing my dog at police officers and driving up to the local bank teller and accidentally depositing an envelope of meth.... That people, are real stories that have happened out here.. you can't make up that kind of redneck shit.

I am sure there are more things but I need to get some sleep or something - on the off chance tomorrow brings work.... or on a miracle - a snow plow!

"In these tough economic times"

You read the title, so I am not going to say it again. Tonight I was half listening to the news as I was working on my homework and there seemed to be this overwhelming sense of being underwhelmed by the positive information in the news. Every fifteen minutes I hear "In these tough economic times". Really? We need to be reminded as we watch the depressing news that our country, and the world, are in a financial shithole.

I guess the only upside to this is that the whole world is f-ed so its not just us going to hell in a handbasket. We'll have company as we slide down the drain into a third world country.

Enjoy your clean running water, electricity and heat while it lasts.

Ding Dong, It's Avon Calling

No, I haven't taken up to selling Avon, the title does have a point though.

Back in the day, if someone rang your doorbell, it was the avon lady or even the girl scouts with their cookies. Nowadays I have been peddled everything from a carpet shampoo to religion and yes even the process server ( whom left as I was screaming at him "How do you think I can have a GOOD weekend")

I live in the land of no sun between October and April to when I say its dark at 4pm, it really is. Last night someone knocked on my door at 5:13pm. It is pitch black and I don't have my front porch light on ( I live in a little subdivision) I could hear the people outside, and Bayley barked feverishly at them (who knew a beagle could be so ferocious?), but there was no way on God's green earth I was opening that door. You want me to throw open my door when its dark out and I am not expecting you?

I am not the typical person - I would rather have an axe murderer than a magazine sales person who is waging a contest to go to some great foreign land and their success depends on you selecting one of their many magazines- be at my door.

I did however come up with a clever idea last evening, later anyways... next time I will just bellow " Hang on a minute, I'm getting my shotgun" That should not only take care of the problem, it will qualify me as the young crazy woman on the block. This is easier than amassing a large amount of cats.

This season = Nausea

I know that this season is meant to be one of good cheer and goodwill. In my crrent situation I want to change Merry Christmas for Merry F-mas and the music makes me ill.

I know the economy sucks and its the orse recession since 1947 but damn it people, most of you still have your family to be thankful for and be with.

There is nothing that money can currently buy me that I would want. All I want is my family back. That means I want my husband and step son to come home. I see advertisements for the Seattle argosy Christmas cruise and I think it is something I would like to do... only if I can share it with them. I want to put up a Christmas tree ... but only with them. Do you see the pattern yet?

I sit here a prisoner of the season. I can't handle the television commercials that are based on the holiday, I can't go into the stores because the holiday music grips me in panic and forces e to run in a cold sweat from their buildings. Next week is the work Christmas party. I am trying to think of a viable excuse not to go. We are a small non profit and I like everyone I work with . most of the time hah! However, they will all be there with their spouses and I honestly don't think I can handle that. I don't want to celebrate anything and I certainly don't need a parade of happy couples in front of me.

If I thought I couldn't stop crying before, but moving into this holiday season has made the pain unbearable. I feel the weight of my emotions crushing me and the pain from missing my Shafer men is piercing my hear and soul.

I am tired of not being worthy enough to keep the people in my life that are important to me. My dad deserted my familyat this time of year and now my husband and stepson have abandoned me too. There is so much in my life that is unfair and yet it keeps coming without apology. I wish there was an end in sight.