Psychiatric Medications and McDonald's Cheeseburgers

Here I am still trying to make contact with my husband and feeling kinda down. I show up to my medication appointment this afternoon and when asked how I am, I become hysterical. Why? well, my life is a mess and I sleep no more than 3 hours a night. I am crying and telling this doctor that my meds are not working and I need to be taken off of them - what I get in return are prescriptions for higher doses of what I am on. I had not done an effective job of showing how well adjusted I am for her to take me off of the meds. So here I am will higher doses and the promise that this will help me sleep and improve the constant crying that is going on. Apparently I am taking anough meds to tranquelize a Rhinocerous and yep.. I only sleep 3 hours. Go figure. My metabolism is so messed up, I can't even take meds in an appropriate dose to be normal. Not to mention it is alluded to that I am being punished by my husband. I thought that was an interesting comment. I know he had spoken with her once, but she could not tell me about once and I get that. But if this is about punishing me, I think I have endured a lot emotionally and I still want my family back no matter what it takes. I am tired of hearing how strong I am. I am not saying those comments are not appreciated, just that being strong is not how I feel right now. I do however know that some have seen my ability to get up, gt dresses and show up for work everyday since Scott left me as a huge accomplishment. Another accomplishment is being 2 classes into my Masters with a 4.0 GPA.

Anyways onto the Cheeseburger -

So being pathetic and having a pity party for one, I stop by McDonald's and get a couple cheeseburgers. Whenever I get a cheeseburger from McD's I have to smell it. I know that sounds strange, but there is something comforting about the smell of a cheeseburger ala Happy Meal. Anyways, cheeseburgers in hand I came home and here I blog before returning to schoolwork and an attempt at sleeping with double meds on board. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up with an optimistic outlook on life.... although I am almost certain that until I am able to make contact with my husband I will piss on the cherrios of anyone who makes me mad. If I were you, I wouldn't let me near your food items........