Here I Go Again.....

When will I ever learn? I really can't go into anymore detail than that at this particular moment because I don't feel like crying. I am just beating myself up because I never learn. I get comfortable with what I have going on and when I allow myself to do/feel/experience something other than the typical routine I end up paying dearly for it. I just can't accept the fact that my life is meant to be monotonous and alone yet why is it when I allow myself to dream of more, those dreams are shattered nearly as quickly as they begin to unfold. This is why I am unable to truely trust other people. I have been burned one to many times as far as that goes and I am tired of being let down by others. I know that 'they' always say that the only person in life that you can count on is yourself, but is that the way it should be? Shouldn't there be other people that you can rely on and count on to be there when you want them there AND when you need them to be there? Am I really that oblivious that I can't grasp this concept? Or is it that I am only oblivious to dealing with men, in general? Maybe I need to learn to live only in the moment and that longevity doesn't exist anymore. Who knows, I guess I will find out the more I dance through life and learn from the everyday.