Love... Is it really for suckers?

I spend a lot of time wondering if I was ever truly loved in my marriage. I question the entirety of the relationship seeing as how it was so easily disposed of.

At this point, these questions are neither here nor there.

I recently met someone who I think is special. We spoke via the Internet, Text Messages and Phone for quite a while before we actually met in person. He is a wonderful man, and without going into much detail on account of his being a person who preserves his privacy, I will tell you that he, like many of us, have been burned by prior relationships. He once said Love is for Suckers. Tonight I wonder if that is true.

This is me wondering if I put to much stock in the idea of Love. I wonder if I am able to be loved, worthy of it, if there is someone out there who could love me. I am far from perfect, I have my own set of issues ranging from my insecurity that I will be left (because its a recurring theme in my life), If I am attractive enough, if someone will see past the fact that I am a larger, curvier girl. I wonder if I am asking and expecting too much from another person. I know that I should be able to be enough for myself but I want more. I want to love and be loved, I want to be romanced and woo'ed. I want to feel that there is someone else in this world that I matter to.

I want someone to make plans to be with me, value time with me, find things about me that are irresistible (like my laugh). I want to know that I am a single rose in the valley of ferns. I want to know that there is the possibility of something, I want time to explore. Unfortunately all of this comes with the possibility of finding love, finding that you aren't the one and the euphoria of feeling alive and the pain of rejection.

I think that I am a sucker... so bring it on.