Time for Reflection.... Hold onto your hats

So my reading fans, I have been on quite a hiatus from the blogging. I found that public blogging leads to heated passions and lots of additional drama that is never intended. Let me clear a few things up.

1 - Freedom of speech and expression are both protected. If I have a viewpoint and I share it, don't take offense because I had a different viewpoint of the same incident you were involved with. My feelings and opinions are valid and should not be discounted merely to save you from feeling uncomfortable. Forgiveness is given not for the offender, but for the offended which is something I am working on for myself to be able to move on.

2- I did not come back to CT for drama. If you have it, keep it. I don't need it. Been through enough and could care less. It is time to take care of myself and my own stuff and I don't need to be dragged into anyone Else's Bull.

3- N0 I am not happy that I personally feel like a failure at being an adult. I am 32, once divorced and living with my mom while I search for a job and save to get my own place. Due to this economic downturn, I am not able to currently find anything I am qualified for that anyone wants to pay me for. I have been given the suggestion to dumb down my resume so that maybe I can bag groceries.

4- NO I am not receiving any money for anything. WA hasn't decided whether they want to give me unemployment because I voluntarily left because I couldn't stay afloat on my own after the divorce and the system doesn't help the working class except to advise them if they want services, they should get knocked up.

5- I am fully aware that my ex is hated by all my peeps. I know that I should never have signed the pre nup, that I never should have been in the position I was in to care for his son while he was deployed and that you all suspect his ulterior motives for marrying me had everything to do with anything but love.

6- I saw a picture of me today that was taken today. I hated what I saw. Last September I was 30 pounds lighter than I am now. I went back to Allstate (which made me want to eat all the time) and recently I took a break from the thyroid meds due to my financial issues. Since my recent ER visit, it is apparent that the weight, the high BP and my asthma that the Metabolic Syndrome is wrecking havoc on my body again. I am lazy by nature and not a person who adores eating well or working out, both of which are much needed before I have a stroke or become 600 pounds, both of which will make me an even more socially awkward adult.

7- I am well aware that I am the coolest chick ever to hang out with and be friends with. I don't actually need you to tell me I am sweet and if I wasn't so heavy you would be attracted to me and want to have sex with me. Luckily for this particular guy, he was recently out of the hospital with stitches in his gut and was totally grey (while his picture indicated black hair) At least I could lose the weight and still be nice... you will always be a jerk.

8- CT drivers - You have a lot to learn. Do not tailgate me, When you are close enough to my rear mirror for me to read your lips, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. Back up, give me some space or I am gonna hit those breaks baby.

9- Women are .... wait for it.... wait for it.... Women are Bitches. Yes I said it. I am tired of meeting men who have been run down by women who have sucked them dry and made them discount the fact that there might actually be a decent woman left in the world. Since I am a woman, I can accurately account that women are in fact of the witch variety. I know this because I was not always the nicest and I can reflect back on that now and see the error of my ways. I can also say though, that the men who have come across my path have not always been free of issues before getting to me either. I would like to think I made a difference one way or another... but going forward my intention is not to ruin any men worse than when you got to me.

10- If you so desire to read my blog and then comment, have the guts to sign your name. Anonymous posters who have no clue what they are talking about make me laugh. ( well first mad, then laugh) You are ignorant and shitless.

11- I am quite aware that we live in a society where girls are judged on their appearance and not their personality, sense of humor or intelligence. Let me live in my dream world where a super fox guy sees me for who I am and wants to be with me for me and who I am, not what he wishes I were.

12- I have experienced many things in my life. Good, Bad and Unbelievable. They have made me who I am, they have led me down many different paths and I cant say I would change them even if I could because I have become an extraordinaire person. That being said, if you don't know that, cant see that and don't want to be a part of it.... that's your loss.